Entrepreneurship can crush your spouse.

In seasons past I’ve been short-tempered and emotionally unavailable to my wife, and that’s not fair.

In this current season, I’d guess that my wife would give me a solid “B” - most of the time I’m present, but every once in a while I check email when I shouldn’t and get into a tizzy.

But as founders if we’re going to have strong marriages, families, and a strong business, it’s crucial that we figure this out.

This means working at work and not at home (physically and emotionally).

When I do it well, here’s what has helped:

1. Creating a rigid schedule

My actual current schedule is pictured here. I work at work and NOT at home — Parkinson’s Law. I ONLY work on the important stuff. I don’t have time to work on half-important things. Balls will be dropped, but they don’t matter (that much).

2. Blocking “work apps” on my phone after hours

I use Opal to block Superhuman (email), Slack, and LinkedIn from my phone after hours. My industry isn’t life or death. Everyone can wait until tomorrow, but our clients have our phone numbers. They’ll call if they need to.

They never call.

3. Scheduling “work nights”

I can hear you whine about #1 above - “but starting a business means working long hours!”

It doesn’t, but I hear you. In seasons past I’ve scheduled one late night a week.

4. Having a “workday shutdown” routine

At the end of each workday, I spend 30 minutes (I have my own SOP for it) closing out the day, saying “goodbye” on Slack, and planning my next day.

5. Live in “day-tight compartments”

In the words of Dale Carnegie, all of the above helps me to live in “day-tight compartments.”

Each day, there is no yesterday and no tomorrow — only today.

When the day is done, it’s done. Tomorrow can handle any leftovers.

6. Get a friend to b*tch to

My wife is my best friend. But what happens to me at work affects her, sometimes more than it affects me. That’s because she cares about me.

But sometimes it’s better to vent with friends with whom you don’t share a bed and bank account.

The point of the list above is to help you mentally disconnect from work and be present for your family.

My kids love me, but they couldn’t care less about my work.

My wife loves me and cares about my work, but she also works full-time. I must be ready to take on her day when I get home.

What Next?

If you’re still in founder mode at 8PM, it’s probably time to fix that. We help founders build systems (and hire EAs) so they can actually disconnect. Let’s talk.

Want my “Ideal Weekly Template”? Here it is.

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